The tale of Desperate

Sorry but in my personal opinion mice are only cute in two situations (depending if can think of two situations) 1. their in a cartoon, mickey, adorable, despereaux the brave lil mouse cute as a button. 2. well fuck plainly my mom had the ultimate rule when it came to outdoor critters. "i don't care what their doing as long as their outside, as soon as they step inside their creepin on MY domain. Thats when it's time to die" frankly my moms crazy so i usually didn't listen but THAT is a true statement. I found my first mouse (or two) in the apartment today and i'm just not a happy camper.

Your never fully dressed without a smile (this is STILL not a personal blog)

Apparently Annie said it best (the 1982 version not that 1999 shit). I recently found out I have sleep apnea which chiefly means that cause of some swollen knock of tonsil (adenoids) I’m not so silently choking during my sleep and waking up every 20 minutes, It’s just as much fun as it sounds don’t worry. The best part is I got to find this out by having doctors shove wires everywhere you can and can’t imagine on and in my body while I sleep. This lack of sleep has given me the personality of a pregnant rhino and I’m pretty sure my friends have noticed. At least now I have something to blame it on instead of people just assuming that I’m an asshole.

That’s just the prequel ladies and gentlemen because obviously that Annie reference doesn’t mean shit right now. I recently started my new job at Club Monaco and have already embarrassed myself the first day of work. Pardon me for thinking that the 9-3 shift at a clothing store meant 9 in the morning til 3 in the afternoon. Not only did I drag myself out of bed, shower and put on my new 500 dollar outfit at the crack of dawn, I’m only saying how much the outfit was because it was free for working their yes I was pretty happy at the beginning of the day, I biked all the way down there to find out I was supposed to work at night. The boss then make me feel retarded for not knowing my shift, I already felt retarded no help needed, and I found out I needed to buy dress shoes. I proceeded to mope about center city and essentially found nothing. This plus waking up early, plus anxiety over the new job, plus complete lack of sleep, and finally the thought that even though I’m going home to sleep till work I won’t be rested cause me to have a mini breakdown in the middle of the subway. I hate being that guy but damn, I’m on the verge of tears and the hobo next to me looks like he’s about to get preachy when I start cracking up laughing and heres the sole reason; I also get ridiculous bouts of energy at odd hours at night which keep me up. Last night around 3 in the morning I couldn’t sleep so I cleaned the kitchen per usual in my underwear singing songs from Annie the musical.

Which is when the lyrics “Who cares what they're wearing on Main Street of Saville Row It's what you wear from ear to ear And not from head to toe that matters” popped into my head causing me to burst in to fits of laughter knowing that I’m wearing the most expensive outfit I’ve worn in quite some time, pissed off about some stupid shoes all the while loathing that I’m the fag that needs to sing a musical to cheer me up. ugh. Thanks Annie you’re the only ginger I’ve ever loved.
~fuckmylife I’m going to bed
This is NOT a personal blog.

Late Night

Sometimes between the hours of 2-5 in the morning my brain tends to get…a little weird. My friends have noticed this if they after try and wake me up, it usually ends with me screaming and saying something strange. I specifically remember this being an embarrassment during sleepovers “I’m NOT wearing underwear!” really isn’t something you should yell in a room full of guys. Sometimes at odd hours my brain decides to become a sit com writer and random, and I mean RANDOM scenes pop into my head from nowhere this scene appeared as I sat on the toilet without any reading material…
“How could you write these lies about my daughter!?”
“Ok first off lady, you need to get off my front porch, second I merely misquoted her it was probably a typo”
“You wrote that I regularly help douche her!”
“Look lady it sold papers and besides who cares if people think you have to douche her vagaygay? It’s not like she’s going out”
“You said it was an interview on how she struggles with her handicap”
“Well maybe she shouldn’t gurgle when she talks cause globglrflagr brealihfa can be taken a lot of ways…”
“she has a cleft lip you bastard!”
“lady I’m gonna have to ask you off my front porch”
Which made me laugh and caused my parents to ask why I was laughing in the bathroom ( this was at the reasonable hour of 11 at night as opposed to 3 in the morning).

This is why I hate home. I can’t drive, the internet is sucky, I’m stuck ON A CAMPGROUND SURROUNDED BY CORNFIELDS and although I love my friends, their cheap as fuck and most times won’t make the trek to middle of nowhere to pick me up. I then sit til 4 in the morning watching random shit online, download music, and write. g2g just downloaded season 1 of Rick and Steve. Ooo I just found eggnog and rum in my parents fridge!
fuck my life.

Rick And Steve at HappiestGayCouple.com