Tuesday, December 23, 2008

This is NOT personal blog

So I've been on this train for 3 hours now. It's the Philadelphia train to Elizabethtown and it normally should take about 1.5 maybe 2 hours. Were now traveling at 40 mph, we've lost 2 brake's due to ice, 1 train car, and most of my patience. There is a red headed child literally swinging from the ceiling while outta my head. Thank GOD she took a note from Ashley and is only lip singing. She's now shimmying on the floor and her head is dangerously close to my knee. Her ANCIENT parents are simply sitting there and laughing at her "adorable" antics while I pray for patience. Seriously girly, your 10, one of the most obnoxious ages a child can be AND you have red hair. How in the world do you have the balls to be that obnoxious and not expect to be beaten.

The only way I'm making it through this train ride is the dreamy piece of fine Alaskan meat sitting next to be. The guy is right outta college, decided to live in Alaska and is coming home for the first time in 6 months from hiking, fishing, skiing, and camping every weekend. Why do I know this? Cause he's sitting next to me and has been regaling me with stories of his last encounter with a Grizzly and what you’re supposed to do in an Avalanche ( which apparently is a common casualty in Alaska). Meanwhile I've been staring at his muscles the entire time deciding whether they’re due to his rigorous work or that the only thing to do in Alaska is exercise and drink.

Post train ride recap

For the record, yes I did “accidently” bump my knee into that girls head, she cried, I acted like I just woke up from sleeping and apologized. I have no regrets, earlier today I denied 2 homeless people change on the way to the subway. If Santa is gonna screw me over this late in the game, it’s already been done.

The Alaskan man smiled at me for doing it and I creamed my pants.
I learned that more people are mauled by moose in Alaska then bears.
Most people in Alaska HATE Sarah Palin and think she’s a redneck.
While he showed me pictures of his journeys in Alaska (an excuse to snuggle up to see the screen) he showed me a picture of his girlfriend, she’s really hot…bitch.
I got home at the glorious time of 10:15. I got on the train at 6. Fuckmylife.


Little Giant said...

keep it up, kid, you are going to be known for these post one day,

aQwRd-E said...

thank you random 215 commenter. ;) thanks for the boost.